if you ever sleep with me.

ever since i can remember i have been a victim of sleep walking and sleep talking. yes both.

so if you are ever sleeping near me, next to me, with me...

you may get to witness this ridiculousness.

you could only be so lucky.

i have forever been woken up by friends and family telling me that i was dancing on my bed, laughing, outside petting the dog, or talking about God knows what! let's hope i never divulged any deep dark secrets (yikes!)

i've even woken my parents up in the past because i was either cracking up in bed, alone, or having a full blown conversation with... myself.

here are just a few of my shining moments for your reading pleasure...

keep in mind... i don't recollect ANY of these events happening. i was either told about them the next day or figured it out by waking up somewhere other than where i fell asleep...

my two dear friends jennifer and LT always end up with stragglers sleeping in their house. they're good for housing us drunk kids. i think i even have my own blanket at their house now.

anywhoooo... one night i ended up on their couch with my friends tanner and sara (yes we all 3 crammed on to one couch- comfortable? not at all). apparently out of nowhere i sit straight up on the couch, while sleeping, and throwing my hands in the air i scream "ugh guyyyys, i just wanna have a good christmas!!!" and fell RIGHT back to sleep. it was nearing the holidays and i had a lot on my mind. that's my excuse. k?

my first real scare from sleep walking came in middle school. at this point i was just walking outside at night and petting the dogs or trying to climb trees. i kept my parents on their toes.

anyways, one weekend i went with my church youth group at the time, to an atlanta braves baseball game. we stayed in atlanta all weekend sight seeing and traveling the city. somehow though, our room of girls ended up without a chaperone- in short, nobody to keep their eye on my roaming ass. i fell asleep that saturday night... in my room. in my bed. come 3:30 or so that morning i woke up... not in my bed. not in my room. where did i wake up you ask? in the hallway of the hotel. with a pillow and blanket. of course i start flipping shit and turn around and start banging on the door behind me (assuming it was my room). who answered? some old lady whom i have NEVER seen before. thank God it was her though, and not some creeper who could have kidnapped me right then and there. so of course i take off running in my pajamas with pillow and blanket in tow. i finally realize that i am 4 floors down from where my room is... and on the other side of the hotel. i finally find my way back to my room and after a good 10 minutes of banging on my door (imagine trying to wake up middle school girls- not happenin) they finally answer and are stunned to find me outside of the room in a state of panic. i mean come on... what if someone saw me walking around while i was asleep... and what did the security guards think of some chick sleeping in the hallway? let's just say i never really lived that down and i scared the ba-jeez-us out of myself.

i think my most glorious sleep walking experience happened when i was in high school though. i was dreaming that i had to carry all of my cheerleading team's pom poms out of one of the games (in reality i was pulling all of the covers off of my bed and carrying them through my room). apparently i got to my open  bedroom door and tripped over my comforter... resulting in my FACE hitting the DOOR and almost breaking my nose. imagine waking up to blood pouring out of your nose. freaking out doesn't do my reaction justice at. all. of course my dad comes running in, opens the door (almost hitting me again), and finds me bloody faced with my bedding all over the floor (nothing left on my bed). once we realized that i had fallen victim to my own sleep walking and my nose was not in fact broken... we died laughing. i mean come on... i didn't even have a good story to tell for my black and blue nose at school the next few weeks.

my most recent escapade happened just a few weeks ago actually, and it's what prompted me to share my experiences with you. i live alone now and have always wondered if i am still sleep walking and just don't have anyone to catch me and put me back in bed. i honestly thought i had either grown out of it, or just scared myself too much to keep doing it... until this recent adventure (which isn't as crazy as the previous two). ok so before i go to bed every night i go pee, like every other human being in the world. i remember thinking to myself that i should change the toilet paper roll because i just used the last bit of TP. normally i would if i was anywhere other than my own home, where there's nobody else to need that TP on the roll, but since i was tired and ready to pass out, i figured it could wait until the morning. now i don't know what happened because i was obviously asleep. but i woke up the next morning and i had a brand spankin new roll of TP on the roll. on. the. roll. my subconscious sleeping walking self is really looking out for my TP well being i suppose.

i've thought about putting floss or string up around my doors so the next morning i will know if i've gotten up and gone anywhere if it's been torn down. but then i think that might freak me out a little bit more than i already am about the whole sleep adventure thing.

i don't necessarily mind that i talk in my sleep. i actually find it quite hilarious when i wake up the next morning and have people telling me i was talking to them throughout the night. hey, it's good entertainment! 

i do mind, however, the fact that i could get up and go anyyyywhere and not know it the next morning unless someone tells me. and now that i live on my own it scares me even more. i am always worried that i will get up and try to drive somewhere- lord help us all if that ever happens!

so if you ever find yourself sleeping anywhere close to me... bring a recorder. it could get interesting.

sleep tight tonight peeps.

j.