if i were a boy.

okay, so, have ya'll met erin over at shades of gray and a pinch of pink?

if you haven't... you seriously need to go check her out. 

girl has me crackin' up on the reg. 

the other day i came across a post of hers titled "if i were a boy" and i honestly could not resist playing along. the only rule is that you have to pretend you're beyonce while you read this and sing along.

mmmk, thanks.

i would know how to change my own oil, and my flat tire, and my windshield fluid, anddd how to put air in my tires.

i would be a ninja chopping spider killer.

i would give out mass compliments to my lady.

and lots of big bear hugs, and hold her face when i kiss her.

i would never try to understand women. because it would never happen.

i would also never underestimate women. because then i would be in trouble.

i would wear a suit. women like suits.

i would play football like a boss. and i would actually understand the dang sport.

i would rap like lil wayne, and not sound like a little 12 year old white girl like i do now.

i would not be a sappy nerd who gives out candy and teddy bears. i would be a bad ass. because women like the bad boys yo.

i would also be very sensitive once you got to know me.

i would have a pinterest, and i would be the smartest man in the world.

i would then read fifty shades of grey, and i would love it.

i would eat whatever i wanted, whenever i wanted, because my metabolism would be that of a five year old's. (courtesy of erin)

and i would win beer drinking contests like a champ.

i would have awesome Halloween costumes... like the boondock saints, or a dick in a box, or the hulk.

i would be sexy. duh.

what would you do if you were a boy?
and if you are a boy- i'm sorry. 
i like being a girl.