my baby, ava grace.

most of you have never heard me talk about miss ava grace, have you?

probably because you're somwhat new around here and i don't have ava anymore.

she was/is a great dane/bull mastiff mix. so basically a miniature horse in other words. she will always be my first baby.

all of you fur mommas out there know how much love you can have for an animal. they become your children, especially when you don't have children, and are an instant part of your family- forever.

to read about my struggles with ava, start here.

to read about what ended up happening with ava, end here.

where am i going with all of this?

well i finally went to visit ava this weekend.

her new family has sent me picture updates and emails on the reg. they have been so amazing when it comes to keeping me posted and making me feel welcome to come visit any time. well i have been extremely hesitant about going to visit.

will i cry? will i want her back? will i be too upset with myself to handle it? how in the hell will i react to seeing her again after 6 months?

yes, it took me 6 months to get over all of those fears and go see her.

and i will just say that i could not have been more happy with what i saw.

i saw my overwhelmingly complicated and crazy puppy running freely through an 11 acre farm with her 3 puppy siblings. no fence, no leash, nothing. complete and utter freedom.

the best part about it all?

she is the most well behaved dog i have ever met in my life... ya'll, this is a HUGE deal. she was pretty out of control when i had her. and out of control may or may not be an understatement.

this may have been the toughest decision that i have ever made in my life thus far, but i still believe that it was the right one. i have given ava the best life that she could have ever wanted. i know that she will forever be taken care of
and will forever be happy with the Welch family.

i still miss her tremendously and still wish i had her huge body to curl up with at night (yes, she slept in my bed with me like a person)... but we are both much happier.

and this just further confirms that God is ALWAYS listening. to EVERY struggle we have... and he DOES answer prayers.

my heart is full. so very full.

and i will be visiting my baby every chance i can.

 happy monday, friends!